Many people have mentioned how “brave” I am to be publicly speaking about bladder issues that are common in perimenopause and post-menopause. Millions of women experience bladder issues like leaking, frequency, and urgency during the menopause transition and beyond, yet most suffer in silence.

Why?

Because of the stigma.

I am willing to share my experience publicly to help shed light on the issue, stop the shame, and offer hope with a potential solution.

Bladder Changes During Menopause: What’s Really Happening?

As the hormone estrogen declines in menopause, its impacts are far-reaching and include our urinary tract, vaginal tissue, and pelvic floor muscles. As estrogen drops, it can affect the tissue in the urethra (the tube from the bladder where urine exits the body), the vagina, the bladder wall, and muscles such as those in the pelvic floor. The decline in estrogen can result in:

  • Stress incontinence – leaking when you cough, laugh, or sneeze 
  • Increased frequency – including having to wake during the night to go 
  • Increased urgency – as the bladder’s sensitivity and muscle weakness can lead to difficulty holding urine

While I am thrilled to see more information about menopause and women’s health than ever before, these changes are still not well-known. And they often come as an unwelcome surprise to women (as they did for me).

The Weight of Silence: Why Women Don’t Talk About It

There is a LOT of shame around incontinence (the involuntary release of urine) and bodily control. As someone who lives with several chronic conditions, I am very familiar with the prevailing idea that we should be able to control how our bodies function. It is embarrassing and frustrating when our bodies act beyond what we can control. 

We typically learn potty-training in our toddler years, and for decades, everything may have worked just fine. Until these symptoms of urgency, frequency, and leaks start to creep in.

Women may wonder, “what’s wrong with me?” or “why can’t I hold it?” Many women feel they must be the only one experiencing this.

There is a lack of open discussion of these issues, even in women’s health spaces. And it doesn’t help to get brushed off by doctors. (I was told by three gynecologists to just “do Kegels.”)

How Stigma Delays Healing

When we’re embarrassed about something, we are less likely to ask for help, resulting in avoidance of care or support. We may try ineffective solutions privately (like how I did 125 Kegels a day for months or trying to restrict water intake). As the symptoms worsen over time, women may experience increased stress, decreased quality of life, and possibly withdraw from social activities.

From Shame to Support

If you’re experiencing bladder issues and feeling frustrated, you’re not alone. Research shows that 50% or more of women experience these bladder challenges. I encourage you to reach out to your doctor and talk to your friends. There are more of us out there than you think, and there are solutions available.

Personal Empowerment: Reclaiming Control

What I learned from Barb (our pelvic floor physical therapist) was that my coping strategies were all wrong – and in fact, they were making things worse! She taught me the pelvic floor exercises, bladder retraining strategies, and other helpful tips that we have put into Be Bladder Confident. I’m now so relieved and confident about my bladder control, I feel empowered to do more, including sharing my story.

Take the first step towards your own healing and empowerment: